"Feelings of pain, panic, fear, intense unfocused anxiety, devestation, hopelessness, betrayal, shame, guilt, abandonment, vulnerability and futility may follow an incest victim throughout life."
I would like to alter this quote by exchanging the word incest with abuse (sexual, spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, verbal etc). As a survivor of abuse (in what forms, by whom, and the details of which I shall leave at this point unsaid) I can state without equivocation that this film is the most honest , accurate and unflinching portrayal that I have ever seen on screen. Though it’s brutal subject matter was probably unbearable for most people to view, I found it strangely liberating.
So often the subject matter of abuse is clouded in such ‘gooey’, cloying and overwrought melodrama that I can’t begin to stomach it. I spent many years in support groups with fellow survivors of various forms of abuse and in the majority of cases the silent, quiet, lurking, unseen, behind closed doors, under the radar, invisible to the eye that wishes not to see or has no reason to suspect nature of it was the reality.
Unlike the outwardly ugly monster that one would assume these people to be the abuser is often a charismatic, good looking, highly appealing and seemingly loving and generous person. I found the character of the father, played immaculately by Ray Winstone, to be a perfect example of this. Most accurate was his reaction of “turning the tables” when confronted with his abuse. These sociopathic personalities seem to truly believe that THEY are the victims and that those who expose the truth are ruining THEIR lives and for NO DAMN reason except their (the victims) selfish, ruthless, vindictive and sinister need to DESTROY them (the abuser).
In my experience these abusers NEVER see the light, NEVER repent and NEVER feel shame or guilt. They will re-victimize and re-abuse till their dying day. It is for this reason that I felt such relief and release when the brother and sister brought that dying day into the here and now.
Granting that this is rarely a feasible option in real life it is my vision of justice that every abuser spend the rest of their lives chained in a one room hell hole in which they do nothing but watch this film over and over for eternity.
Enough said.
