First let me state that I am a Vera Farmiga fan. I've noticed her in many obscure films such as 'Quid Pro Quo', 'Joshua', and the 'Hard Easy' and she has always intrigued me. The downside is that her face is so mesmerizing (those eyes!!!) that I sometimes find myself distracted from the film itself. That said, I was not dissapointed with this movie. Though 'Never Forever' was certainly not a perfect film and I could spend a lot of time tearing it apart at the seams I still felt it was WWW and for me, quite thought provoking on numerous levels.
I found the plot itself to be a darn good yarn. It was never overly dramatic, the sex was dead on and never gratuitous, and the main characters were all portrayed with gut wrenching honesty and compassion. I felt that the soundtrack was well matched to the emotions and events and did not attempt to manipulate my responses, something I despise in the majority of mainstream movies. In the end I felt bad for only one character, the Korean girlfriend who got dumped. Otherwise I felt everything turned out as it should. Which brings me to the main reason I chose to discuss this movie on the blog.
I have a very strong almost fanatical belief in fidelity. Because of this I normally have ZERO compassion for any film characters who are cheating on their partners. I dislike them, have no respect for them and therefore usually find it hard to maintain any interest in what they do outside of that. My door is closed to any consequent pain they may feel.
So you can imagine my surprise when I realized that (at least initially) Sophie and her sperm donor's sexual involvement was acceptable to me. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why and have come to understand my reasons and feel comfortable with them. I have learned something new about myself that pleases me. I can truly say now that my negative reaction to infidelity is not just some knee jerk moralistic stance, or an automated response triggered by personal family history but a solid belief that as committed partners we owe each other the respect and dignity to honor the trust we have invoked. Let me say too that I mean emotional fidelity as well as sexual. If we need more than we feel our partners are giving us we owe them the communication that would open up the possibilities of fulfillment WAY before straying outside of the relationship to find what we think we are missing.
In Sophie's case that form of communication was not available to her due to her husband's mental illness and complete lack of ability to connect with her on any level. I think she rightly felt that there was no time to wait for him to recover from his depression so that she could rationally discuss other options with him. It was pretty obvious that he was going to attempt to kill himself again , probably sooner than later. She had tried on her own to find another way to give him the baby that seemed the ONLY way to keep him from committing suicide. To say that she was stuck between a rock and a hard place is an understatement.
So her original arrangement with this man was to me just a business arrangement and one in which she was making an extreme sacrifice for her husband. And ditto for the Korean man who I think rightly felt that this was the only way he could financially reach a place where he could bring his girlfriend to America . He would have been a fool, I thought, to pass up this opportunity. He too seemed to feel dirtied and humiliated by the experience. I found that I could not fault either of them for their choices.
Of course when they began to fall for each other their sex was no longer just a sacrifice for their partners and here things became much more complex and questionable.. It would take me pages to express the reactions I felt from this point on and perhaps I will write more once the discussion gets going but right now I am really interested in hearing from others as to their own responses.
And hey, thanks for listening.
I found the plot itself to be a darn good yarn. It was never overly dramatic, the sex was dead on and never gratuitous, and the main characters were all portrayed with gut wrenching honesty and compassion. I felt that the soundtrack was well matched to the emotions and events and did not attempt to manipulate my responses, something I despise in the majority of mainstream movies. In the end I felt bad for only one character, the Korean girlfriend who got dumped. Otherwise I felt everything turned out as it should. Which brings me to the main reason I chose to discuss this movie on the blog.
I have a very strong almost fanatical belief in fidelity. Because of this I normally have ZERO compassion for any film characters who are cheating on their partners. I dislike them, have no respect for them and therefore usually find it hard to maintain any interest in what they do outside of that. My door is closed to any consequent pain they may feel.
So you can imagine my surprise when I realized that (at least initially) Sophie and her sperm donor's sexual involvement was acceptable to me. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out why and have come to understand my reasons and feel comfortable with them. I have learned something new about myself that pleases me. I can truly say now that my negative reaction to infidelity is not just some knee jerk moralistic stance, or an automated response triggered by personal family history but a solid belief that as committed partners we owe each other the respect and dignity to honor the trust we have invoked. Let me say too that I mean emotional fidelity as well as sexual. If we need more than we feel our partners are giving us we owe them the communication that would open up the possibilities of fulfillment WAY before straying outside of the relationship to find what we think we are missing.
In Sophie's case that form of communication was not available to her due to her husband's mental illness and complete lack of ability to connect with her on any level. I think she rightly felt that there was no time to wait for him to recover from his depression so that she could rationally discuss other options with him. It was pretty obvious that he was going to attempt to kill himself again , probably sooner than later. She had tried on her own to find another way to give him the baby that seemed the ONLY way to keep him from committing suicide. To say that she was stuck between a rock and a hard place is an understatement.
So her original arrangement with this man was to me just a business arrangement and one in which she was making an extreme sacrifice for her husband. And ditto for the Korean man who I think rightly felt that this was the only way he could financially reach a place where he could bring his girlfriend to America . He would have been a fool, I thought, to pass up this opportunity. He too seemed to feel dirtied and humiliated by the experience. I found that I could not fault either of them for their choices.
Of course when they began to fall for each other their sex was no longer just a sacrifice for their partners and here things became much more complex and questionable.. It would take me pages to express the reactions I felt from this point on and perhaps I will write more once the discussion gets going but right now I am really interested in hearing from others as to their own responses.
And hey, thanks for listening.
